SCORPIO Oct 23 - Nov 20
A good week for new encounters and a pick-up group may end up giving you a lot more than you bargained for. Generosity with loot rolls will be repaid a hundredfold. Characters with misspelled Anime names will be lucky for you.
SAGITTARIUS Nov 21 - Dec 20
One respawn too many will leave you asking yourself a lot of meaningful questions, and a change maybe better than a rest. Look out for new Open Betas, as it may be time to strike out anew. Don’t roll a melee character in your new game.
CAPRICORN Dec 21 - Jan 18
Out with the old Friends List, and in with the new – now is the time to cut free those old ties, and move on. Freeing yourself from long-held responsibilities will be the path to end-game content. Use blunt weapons where possible.
AQUARIUS Jan 19 - Feb 17
Seriously…do NOT log on this week. Go to the cinema, visit parents, do some housework or something else. Anything else…
PISCES Feb 18 - Mar 19
A fortuitous week for crafting. A little study of the market, and some rudimentary work with spreadsheets, could see you turn that backpack of monster gunk into riches beyond your wildest dreams. Beware currency farmers, who will not take kindly to your success.
ARIES Mar 20 - Apr 18
This is the week to get on and grind, and knuckling down and killing mobs for six straight hours will be just the tonic you need to get your game back on track. Mobs with stun attacks will be particularly lucky for you this week.
TAURUS Apr 19 - May 19
Ongoing guild drama will reach its height this week, and unless you take drastic steps, your enemies may end up phoning your RL partner and wooing them away, leaving you with nothing but ashes and an eventual lonely suicide. Lucky colour: Orange.
GEMINI May 20 - Jun 19
Patience is a virtue and one you will need this week, as you become a magnet for scam artists, beggars and new players without a clue. But weather the storm, and brighter sessions lie ahead. Saving chat logs is a good idea this week.
CANCER Jun 20 - Jul 21
A complex and long anticipated scheme finally draws to a close this week, especially if you picked an Aquarius as a mark. But beware hubris – CSR Staff are watching you, and only can’t ban you because of a technicality. Hide on alts beginning with ‘D’, ‘R’ or ‘W’.
LEO Jul 22 - Aug 21
Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war – this is your week to shine in PvP. Crush them, drive them before you, and hear the lamentation of their women, but beware grudges and making long-term enemies who want to kill you IRL. No-one likes a sore winner.
VIRGO Aug 22 - Sep 21
Time spent on spoiler sites is not time wasted this week, as lazy people will look to you for the answers and your wealth of obscure and pointless knowledge will win you many admirers. Avoid two-handed weapons and AOE spells.
LIBRA Sep 22 - Oct 22
Your server will be down for most of the week, so now is a great time to reminisce and fondly replay all those single-player offline games you used to play before becoming clinically addicted to MMORPGs. Lucky Disk Maintenance Option: Defragment.