Van Hemlock Associated Examining Board

MMO Proficiency Basic Certification – Theory Paper

This examination will make up 50% of your final grade and should accompany a two-hour practical examination in a live internet environment to make up the final grade. Calculators may be used, but full working out should be shown. The paper consists of 20 multiple choice questions in four sections, all of which must be answered. Time allowed for the paper: 30 minutes.

You may turn over now.

Section I – Language

Define each of the following commonly used MMO terms:

1) “aggro”

  • a) A citizen of the nation of Aggronia
  • b) To gain the attention of an aggressive NPC opponent.
  • c) A variant of the species horseshoe crab (Limulus polyphemus), which has laser beams instead of claws.
  • d) To give an unexpected gift to members of one’s team.

2) “1337”

  • a) The year in which the Hundred Years War began between England and France.
  • b) A member of a higher social echelon than other gamers.
  • c) The sound made by grammatically challenged console gamers when presented with a keyboard for the first time.
  • d) 10696 divided by 7.

3) “nerf”

  • a) A ranged combat weapon used to subdue, rather than kill, an enemy.
  • b) To have one’s character victimised by God.
  • c) A round of necessary and delicate balancing intended to enhanced the game experience for everyone.
  • d) The product of sexual congress between a Night Elf and a Dwarf.

4) Conjugate the verb “to pwn”

  • a) I pwn, You pwnd, He zomgpwnd, We pwned, You pwn’d, They pwnzor
  • b) I pwnd, You pwnd, He pwnd, We pwnd, You pwnd, They pwnd
  • c) Je suis fromage, où est la plage?
  • d) I omfgpwnd, u pwndz0r, He roflmaopwnd, We lol’d, u STFU, They > u.

5) In the acronym ‘ZOMG’, what does the ‘Z’ stand for?

  • a) Zerg
  • b) Zanzibar
  • c) Zechariah 14:15 – “And a plague like this plague shall fall on the horses, the mules, the camels, the donkeys, and whatever animals may be in those camps.”
  • d) Nothing, it’s meant to mimic an overexcited typist accidentally hitting the ‘Z’ key instead of Shift.

Section II – Mechanics

6) Complete the following sequence: Charge, Battle Shout, Demoralising Shout, Sunder Armor, ???

  • a) Sunder Armor
  • b) Hearthstone
  • c) LEEEEEEROY!
  • d) Intimidating Shout

7) A Gurista Dire Pithi Infiltrator of Signature Radius 29m orbits your ship at 360m/s, at a range of 2500m. Which course of action do you choose:

  • a) Use a Medium Anode Pulse Particle Stream I, (Signature Resolution 40m, Tracking Speed 0.197 rad/s) with Multifrequency S Charge Crystal.
  • b) Use a 1400mm Howitzer Artillery I, (Signature Resolution 400m, Tracking Speed 0.009 rad/s) with EMP L shells.
  • c) Unleash the drones!
  • d) Use a combination of Partial Weapon Navigation I and X5 Stasis Engine Enervator I and hope your wingman is sober enough to deal with the threat accordingly.

8) The most effective way to secure a Tower in Planetside is:

  • a) Mosquito hotdrop on the roof in an Infiltration suit and hack it without them knowing you were ever there.
  • b) Advance up the stairs, throwing plasma grenades on every landing, with squad-mates covering you.
  • c) Sit outside the door with a 150mm Tank Gun pointing at it, and try not to giggle too much.
  • d) ‘Guard’ the AMS truck ‘just in case’, and tell passing Reservists that there are epic drops inside. And cookies.

9) EVE Spaceship shielding is best attacked with:

  • a) Explosive Damage
  • b) EM Damage
  • c) Harsh Language Damage
  • d) Papercut Damage

10) When doing the Bilging puzzle, it is best to:

  • a) Lounge on deck chatting as the water will probably go away on its own.
  • b) Make groups of three similar blocks in a few moves as possible.
  • c) Make as big a group of similar blocks as you can in three moves.
  • d) Swap for Carpentry at the first opportunity.

Section III – General Knowledge

11) The most valuable thing in the Anarchy Online Universe is:

  • a) The Spice. Whoever controls the Spice controls the Universe!
  • b) Notum. Without Notum, nanotechnology is not possible.
  • c) An elusive market-share of 14-30yr old male gamers with an excess of disposable income.
  • d) To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!

12) Night Elf eyes glow because:

  • a) Consumption of various fungi found in Teldrassil causes bioluminescent metabolic reactions in the retinal layer.
  • b) Elune uses this method to mark her chosen people.
  • c) It helps them find the light switch in the dark.
  • d) Among the many Night Elf orifices the sun shines out of, the eyes are two of them.

13) Which of these is a real GuildWars Class Combination:

  • a) Necromancer/Haemophiliac
  • b) Monk/Elementalist
  • c) Lapdancer/Elementalist
  • d) Obsessive-Compulsive/Ritualist

14) Everquest II’s world is shattered because:

  • a) The gods had a hissy-fit and threw an asteroid at it.
  • b) All the newbie zones from the original Everquest went feral through disuse.
  • c) People don’t loot everything properly and tidy up after themselves.
  • d) The Everquest II engine can cope with far more polygons that it’s predecessor.

15) Chuck Norris is:

  • a) An aging 1980’s action movie star who never actually killed anybody.
  • b) A worn out Intenet meme which is well past its laugh-by date, and anyway, In Soviet Russia, the Chuck Norris Aphorisms quote YOU!
  • c) Not as cool as MacGuvyer.
  • d) The most difficult Wikipedia page to effectively police, with the possible exception of ‘Jack Thompson (attorney)’ or 'Scientology'.

Section IV – Ethics

16) Having over reached your solo abilities, in a crowded indoor dungeon setting, you have attracted a sizable ‘train’ of extremely dangerous NPC creatures. What do you do?

  • a) Using whatever zonewide communication available, warn everyone else to get out of the way, then make a dash for the nearest exit.
  • b) Stand still and get beaten to a sticky pulp, not wanting to disrupt others through you own miscalculations.
  • c) Find the most vocal smacktalker in the zone, and bring them a token of your appreciation.
  • d) Visit each and every other group’s pulling spots to see if they can lend you a hand.

17) During a hectic base defence in Planetside, you encounter two members of your own team shooting at each other. What do you do?

  • a) Shoot the one with the most Z’s and X’s in his name – clearly he’s the troublemaker.
  • b) Ignore them – it’s bad enough 66% want you dead….no sense going for the 100%.
  • c) Shoot them both, and let God sort them out.
  • d) Call in an Orbital Strike on the general area – everyone is guilty of something…

18) During a mining trip in EVE Online, you encounter someone who is AFK Macro mining. What do you do?

  • a) Verifiy that they are not actually playing, by trying to get a chat response, and then file a Petition.
  • b) Steal their Ore, safe in the knowledge that they probably won’t be back at keyboard before their right to kill you expires.
  • c) Grab a Microwarp Drive I, Interceptor, a 150km run-up and see how far you can bounce them off course on impact.
  • d) Pull up at the next asteroid, set your own macro going and go down the pub.

19) After your sixtieth raid to Molten Core, you’ve still not managed to finish your Epic armour set. The last piece finally drops. What do you do?

  • a) Loot and scoot. I never liked my guild anyway.
  • b) Observe the correct DKP procedures. One day it will be my turn!
  • c) HUNTER WEAPON!!1!
  • d) Start sending private tells to the Raid Leader, containing URLs for blackmail evidence that Google Never Forgot.

20) During unrelated chatting, a close online friend confides in you that the reason they have been missing a lot of raids lately is that they have a secret second life in Second Life, as a furry. What do you do?

  • a) Grab a freebie SL account and go with an open mind to see how the fuzzy half live.
  • b) While humming the theme to The Crying Game, burn your clothes, and scrub yourself clean with a wire brush.
  • c) Explain succinctly that you do not care what perversity they get up to in their spare time, but that if they miss one more raid, DKPs will be docked.
  • d) Ask them with a wry smile, who do they think they’ve been bumpfuzzling with for the last three months.

Time’s up. Please pass the papers forward, and be sure to check the timetable outside for your practical test bookings!